Do men and women think differently on Dating Apps?
Understand what drives the behaviour of men and women on Dating Apps and the values they prefer in their partners.
While it is common knowledge that the dating apps aren’t working, people are unable to pinpoint why that is the case.
One might ask, is it because of the way dating apps are designed? The longer you stay on those apps, the more money they make.
In part, yes. But we believe that the mental framework of people using dating apps also has a major role to play.
It is often argued that men and women think differently, mainly due to their biological evolution and the social roles they play in society.
This thought was first expressed by Darwin, in his “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex”.
Adding onto this perspective, Robert Trivers, an American evolutionary biologist came up with his theory of “Parental Investment” in sexual selection. He argued that those people who have the responsibility to raise children often have a strict criteria to choose their partner, while those who do not invest as much energy in procreating and raising a child tend to maximise their sexual behaviour.
To put it simply, women are expected to not only give birth, but also raise the child. On the other hand, men are not constrained by these as much as the women. This means that costs of copulation are more for women than men.
Consequently, women tend to be more selective in choosing their partners, while men tend to be more promiscuous.
This behaviour has also been observed in the behaviour of men and women on dating apps. In a survey conducted in the US, it was found that while 80% of the men mentioned casual sex as a motivation to use dating apps, only 55% of the women mentioned that as a reason. This could be more skewed for India, where the sexuality of women is heavily regulated and censured.
Which also means, women would also pay more attention to factors beyond mere physical attraction in selecting a partner. Such behaviour was observed in a research by Lior Fink et al. They found that on dating apps, women were more attracted to men who communicated well through texts. On the other hand, most men relied on the images of women in determining their suitability.
This reveals two things- not only are the motivations of the two sexes different on dating apps, but also their behaviour.
Women are more attracted to signals of material prosperity, academic achievements, and social status than men. On the other hand, men focus on the physical desirability and the age of women given that fertility is a function of age.
But this raises a problem- a problem of scarcity for both the sexes.
Since women would always be selective in the partner they choose, we will always have men that are left out or those who could not make it.
Which is why, men are in a competition to signal their worth- in terms of their physical prowess, material security they can provide, and social standing among other things.
On the other hand, men have a clear preference for physical attraction. Since their their primary objective is copulation rather than a relationship or friendship, they take into account the age and as well as the images uploaded to determine suitability.
Females, subconsciously knowing the function of their physical appearance, often upload more images than men.
This whole process we believe puts men and women in an intrasexual competition, resulting in application of tactics and strategies instead of building trust and understanding compatibility.
To concretise this claim, a research conducted in China found that when women send a like to men on dating apps, they not only pay attention to whether the men meet their preference, but also whether they themselves meet the criteria of those men.
The result?
Deliberate hiding of true personalities and increased ineffectiveness of dating apps.
Which is why, we believe that it is important to minimise the effects of those factors which can distort matchmaking based on compatibility.
That is one of the reasons why images on Sunday are blurred by default, and a person can only talk to one person at a time so as to minimise competition. By doing this, we ensure that a person can effectively express themselves without the dormant fear of competition.
Love, after all, is beyond mere instant gratification.